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1. [DL-N] Advice on Being a Rogue
From: "Chris Weeda" <weeda@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
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Message: 1
Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2004 18:07:18 -0000
From: "Chris Weeda" <weeda@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
Subject: [DL-N] Advice on Being a Rogue
*Somewhere, sometime*
*blink* **Nope, no females here, none whatsoever, our mission is a
failure.**
*blink* **Nope, no females here either, mission a continued
failure**
*blink* **Hey, there's a female, but it's a cow, wrong
species, mission still failing**
Being a rogue dragon isn't an easy life, it really isn't.
Have to constantly tele****t from here to there to over there and oh
my, it's a patrol *blink*
*blink* Did I mention that being a rogue dragon isn't easy,
especially when you're being a rogue in an area that has a warren.
Not the brightest thing in the world especially when you used to be
a dragon of that warren. Had a nice sandy warm cave, cows to eat,
coal to nibble upon, ***** females in flight.. Well, maybe not the
females part but they did occasionally want to get it on. However,
you figure that most dragons breathe fire, which makes them warm.
You figure that being warm would make them more inclined to fly up
and be taken. You FIGURE that would be the case, but do they?
Nooooo! They just wanna cuddle because they're cold! Cold even
though they chew on coal and breathe fire. It's a conspiracy, a big
huge female dragon conspiracy.
Of course now that I'm a rogue, I would take the occasional
female in flight in a heartbeat. A little chance at some action is
better than none at all, it really is. Unlike some storybooks, the
wild, rogue dragon and his rider don't get the chicks. In the books
they fly down, act like they are the greatest thing since peppermint
flavored coal, which would be great if they could do it, because
coal breath just isn't pretty. Turns your teeth black and it's not
like water gets the stain out because it doesn't and.well back to
what I was talking about. The rogue rider comes down, and suddenly
he's mobbed by female riders, all of whom are already ****d and want
to make him theirs. Even better the female dragons all go into a
mating frenzy. Who gets them all? That's right, the rogue dragon
because he's faster, stronger, and able to take on ten females at
once.
....Yeah, I wish.
What actually happens is the large blue dragon, now known as
a rogue because it's warren policy to re****t when dragons go rogue,
begins his descent in search of some female in heat. And of course
since they're all cold, there isn't one in heat. Gee, go figure.
However, there is one nearby and so he lands nearby and starts
talking. The conversation goes something like this.
Blue: Well, hey there good lookin' Mind if I lay beside
you and ****ne your scales with mine?
Female: My, well aren't you a tall blue hunk of male. I
haven't seen you before, where are you from.
Now, this is where the gap between fantasy and reality is
revealed.
Blue: I'm a rogue, baby. Wanna get wild?
Female: Rogue?!
At this point the female cuts loose with a gout of flame,
nearly singeing several body parts which are very valuable. An
alarm goes off and the rogue is forced to take flight and tele****t
away. Things to remember is that books like those are works of
fiction, not actual biographies of rogue riders. Reality is filled
with frigid dragon females, bad tasting, teeth staining coal, and
all sorts of other unpleasantness.
*blink* Still no females in sight. Probably in a nice cave
cuddling because they're COLD!
Submitted by
Vladiggor
Rogue Blue Dragon
AKA Chris Weeda
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