There are 2 messages in this issue.
Topics in this digest:
1. [DL-W] Prisoner of Her Own Mind
From: "Arlene" <wondermom@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
2. Happy 10th Anniversary to DragonLands
From: "Arlene Jacobs" <wondermom@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
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Message: 1
Date: Sat, 11 Feb 2006 00:46:14 -0500
From: "Arlene" <wondermom@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
Subject: [DL-W] Prisoner of Her Own Mind
Day 19
Morning
Nerika arrived for the morning muster of Beta Wing - and for once, was
on time. This earned her more than a few puzzled looks from some of the
other riders, but she didn't even notice them. In fact, she
deliberately avoided making eye contact with anyone.
<Well, it is nice to arrive at the same time as everyone else!> Lyraene
said pleasantly, trying to get some sort of positive response from her
rider.
*Yeah, whatever,* was all that Nerika would say in return. Neither
looking right nor left, she silently and sullenly took her place in the
line and waited for someone to tell her what to do.
She didn't have to wait long. J'red had Firefly do a "roll call" which
was certainly faster for dragons than it was for humans, and he was
also
very surprised to hear that everyone, including Lyraene and her rider
were present. J'red turned and looked over at the rider of the deep
cinnamon-red dragon and saw her downcast expression. He wondered what
was going on with her, but he wanted to reinforce her timely arrival
with some sort of acknowledgement.
"Well, nice to see ALL of our riders here on time this morning!" J'red
tried to make his voice sound upbeat and cheerful.
Nerika barely heard J'red's comment. She continued to stare fixedly at
the ground. Why bother to look up? If he wanted her, he'd let her
know. She'd been told she couldn't cut it as a bard...she didn't
believe that, but clearly nobody at Whiteriver was going to give her a
chance to be one. They wanted her to be a dragonrider, and she'd
rather
lay down and die than live the future her dragon had thoughtlessly
shown
her. So, for now at least, she was here, giving them what they
wanted...a warm body and no more.
J'red shrugged when he didn't get a response from his comment. He
began
with the usual announcements and changes to the patrol partners. Most
of the riders gave him their full attention, but Nerika continued to
find the ground more interesting than him, and J'red was beginning to
become annoyed at her attitude.
Nerika listened in silence, until J'red called out for everyone to
respond that they understood their orders. Her mumbled response was
lost in the chorus of the other riders' shouts. She turned and walked
over to Lyraene, looking as though she were sleepwalking.
<I am sure we will do well!> the dragon said, trying to sound
encouraging.
"Right," Nerika said dully, mentally passing on the orders in such a
deadpan mindvoice that Lyraene actually found herself missing having
Nerika mad at her all the time. At least then, her rider
seemed...well,
alive. Now...she didn't know what to think.
As J'red walked by, he looked up at her. She sighed. "Ready for
takeoff," she said in a toneless voice, not looking at the wingleader.
J'red frowned, giving her a curious look. He was glad that she was at
least putting in the effort to train, but her attitude... well, that
certainly needed improvement. Perhaps she was just tired.
He walked over to where Firefly waited to lead the wing in maneuvers.
After mounting, Firefly sent the command to depart. This order was
always standard and was drilled into the riders at each practice. The
warren's green was too small to afford any dragons leaving out of
sequence during a battle situation. If they did, it would be total
chaos
and dragons and riders could get hurt.
But while the take off and landings were well coordinated, what awaited
the dragon and rider every day as they went out on patrol was unknown.
So as they rose into the air and teleported to the location that
Firefly
had imaged, J'red wondered what variations to throw at the wing this
time. He had planned on a simple routine, since most of the riders
were
tired after viewing the Prince's visit, the Ball, and now the Carnival,
but, after seeing Nerika's attitude, he was determined to work them
hard
enough to get some reaction out of her.
J'red sent instructions through Firefly for the wing to perform a
series
of intricate maneuvers. Lyraene was enthusiastic, and worked hard to
keep perfect place in formation. Nerika blandly acknowledged the
orders, gave an answer when Lyraene asked something, and other than
that
just hung on and wished that this were all over.
When the order came to pass coal up to the dragons, Nerika complied,
but
in the same listless, uninspired manner as everything else she did.
She
did the job, but no more. Her lack of enthusiasm soon began to affect
her dragon as well, and Lyraene's reactions began to slow. Dedicated
as
she was, what was the point if her rider was so miserable doing this?
Firefly alerted J'red to the fact that Lyraene was lagging behind.
J'red looked over and watched as they went through the motions of the
maneuvers but not in a manner that would be effective during battle. In
fact, J'red thought as he watched them, that their attitude might
actually get them killed.
They needed something to snap them out of their lackadaisical attitude.
J'red had Firefly give a series of teleportation directions in quick
succession. The dragons had to respond quickly and arrive at the next
destination before they'd get their next instructions. Firefly told
them that any dragon that didn't make it in time to get the next
instructions was "dead".
The first round went well, but the second was more confusing with
dragons popping out of the teleport at different times. The third
"lost" some of the pairs. Those that didn't make it to the third
location in time didn't get the fourth set of instructions and J'red
told those dragons and riders to land on the green.
Much to J'red's annoyance, Lyraene was not among those that were
eliminated. He tried to give more and more complicated commands,
arriving a moment before the other riders and each time, Lyraene showed
up just before the next set of maneuvers were issued.
When half of the wing were now on the green, J'red called a halt to the
exercise. He told those who had survived to go, and those who had been
eliminated during the training to join him... for a little chat.
---
[TAG: Any wing members can decide which group they were in... and
come
and chat with J'red... or go into the dining hall for lunch and to
complain]
---
J'red met Nerika's eyes as she dismounted from Lyraene and shook his
head, "You know... you just squeaked by each time. But you could have
been one of the first. Why?"
Nerika shrugged and made a point of studying the ground before her. "I
did what I was told to do," she said quietly. "That was what you
wanted, you and everyone else. So, that's what I am doing. What more
do you want?"
J'red's eyes boggled as he stared at her, "It isn't what I want! Is
this what you want? You want to be less than mediocre when you could
be... something more? Why?"
Nerika met J'red's eyes and barked out a short, bitter laugh. "J'red,
I
must live out my life being...mediocre, as you say. I wanted to be a
Master
Bard...I worked hard to become one, sacrificed everything...only to
have
everyone tell me that I *wasn't* a master, could never be one, because
no matter how hard I worked at it, I didn't...didn't have some little,
indefinable talent that separates the mediocre from the great."
With a sigh, she turned her back on him and stared off into the
distance, to keep him from seeing the tears that were brimming in her
eyes. "Are they right? I'll never know, because I'll never be given
the chance to find out." She spun around, and indicated the whole
scene
around them with a gesture. "Because of all this, I will never be able
to prove - to myself or anyone else - that I am not mediocre. So,
that's what I am. Mediocre." She raised an arm as though she was
about
to continue, but then just shook her head and let her arm fall to her
side. Seemingly drained by her sudden and unexpected outburst, she
just
stared silently at the ground again.
J'red shook his head in bewilderment, "That is not what I meant at all.
I don't care how your... singing!" He saw her wince and frowned, "I'm
talking about your ability as a dragonrider. Why do you just go
through
the motions?"
Nerika sighed, still not meeting J'red's gaze. "When King Jaldor
sentences a prisoner to work for the rest of their days as a prisoner
in
the mines, their guards to not ask them why they don't show enthusiasm
for their labors. They do what their guards tell them, to avoid the
whip. What more do you want of this 'prisoner,' then?"
As J'red watched her he had Firefly contact Caradoc. Could Nerika
really feel that she was a prisoner? "This is not at all the same
thing! You are not a prisoner here, Nerika..."
---
[TAG: Morgie... if you'd like to have Latnem show up and talk to
either
Nerika or J'red about this view of hers, John and I are both up for
JPing]
---
Nerika blinked. "Am I not? I am told that I must attend these daily
drills and patrols, or face all manner of punishments. If I wished to
simply leave here and go my own way, would you allow it?"
"I'm not saying I would, but where would you and Lyraene go? Another
warren? Have you and Lyraene discussed this?" J'red asked her.
"She would stay here, of course," Nerika said matter-of-factly. "A
dragon belongs in a warren, after all. And she couldn't go to the
places where I would...which, if Analise is right, would be taverns and
such, singing in return for bread."
"Lyraene cannot stay here without you... Neither of you would survive
such a long separation." J'red replied just as matter-of-factly.
"And,
if you don't mind my asking... why sing for bread when we have a dining
hall full of freshly prepared food -- as much as anyone would want?"
J'red's tone of voice clearly indicating his complete disbelief that
anyone would actually choose such a lifestyle. "You can sing in the
dining hall... or shower... or wherever you want, and eat as much as
you
want."
"And continue to be a prisoner here, spending my days doing things I
care nothing for," she replied. "But why are we talking about this?
You won...I am doing what you want, even though my heart is not in it
and never will be. You, and Merissa, and Analise, and my father, and
everyone else...you got what you wanted of me. There is no more for me
to give, or for anyone else to get."
"You are wrong, Nerika. You are so wrong." J'red looked at her sadly.
"If you would only try! You might just find that these things you
claim
to care nothing about could fulfill you like being a... bard... never
could!" He felt his anger rise as the girl wouldn't meet his eyes.
"Look at me, Nerika! You have no idea how special you truly are, or...
could be. Even only giving these tasks you barest minimum YOU
finished.
There were a dozen dragons and riders who were giving it their best and
they could not survive the maneuvers asked of them! You... you have
greatness within you. But you will not believe me! Won't you even
trust
your own dragon?""
She dropped her gaze again, not even caring now if J'red saw the tears
that filled her eyes. "I had a dream, J'red, and it meant everything
to
me, and now it is gone. This other...is your dream, not mine. Lyraene
has shown me what the fulfillment of that 'dream' would be, and on
Latnem's advice I looked at what she showed me." She turned, wringing
her hands, before looking back around and facing him again. "It is no
life that I can be part of, as anything but a prisoner who lives it
unwillingly. I have agreed to do this, but my heart will always be in
that other place."
J'red looked at the woman before him and felt completely bewildered,
"But you are a part of it... aren't you?" Then it hit him, "You and
Lyraene don't share your thoughts and feelings all the time?" J'red
couldn't imagine not having Firefly's constant background 'hum' in his
mind. They communicated on such a deep level, that often he didn't
even
look to outsiders like he was speaking to his dragon.
"No," said Nerika. "Oh, I talk to her, of course, and vice-versa, when
we're doing this 'rider and dragon' stuff. But beyond that, we really
have nothing in common. I don't share her interests, and she
definitely
doesn't share mine!" Nerika still hadn't forgotten how Lyraene had
virtually kidnapped her and dumped her on the ground in front of J'red
that time! "There really isn't much else for us to talk about."
"Interests?" J'red stared at her. "You're talking about intellectual
pursuits? I thought you were talking about where your 'heart' lay.
Nerika, you are totally missing the point of being bonded to a dragon."
J'red shook his head, "You and Nerika aren't two... roommates. You are
bonded, body and soul!" Then his eyes narrowed, "Has she had a mating
flight, yet?"
"Fortunately, no," said Nerika. "I have been lucky enough to avoid
that
so far." She knew that wouldn't last forever, of course, but one could
always hope. "You make it sound like a good thing," she said, her face
taking on an expression of distaste.
Another male voice answered from behind J'red and he turned to Barsel
as
the other rider commented, "Yeah, great for the participants.... Oh,
yeah, didn't Azhy win that last mating flight?" then he met J'red's
eyes, "Reporting as ordered, Sir. Aedris said you needed to talk to
me...."
Barsel and Aedris had been the first riders to be washed out during the
maneuvers, and J'red wanted to know why, though looking at his bleary
eyes, one didn't have to hard a guess.
Nerika frowned at the interruption. She turned to face the newcomer,
and froze. If ever she'd seen a face that was worth writing a song
about, this was the one! "Um...hello," she said shyly.
[To Be Continued...]
---
Summary
Day 19
Morning
Beta Wing begins their morning practice drills. J'red is happy to see
that all of the riders have arrived on time, (including Nerika and
Lyraene), considering the previous night's events with the carnival. He
is annoyed with Nerika's lack of 'enthusiasm' and puts the wing through
difficult maneuvers. Several dragons and riders cannot complete the
difficult commands, but surprisingly, Nerika and Lyraene manage to make
it through. J'red calls them to task, wondering why they aren't
performing to their full potential. They are interrupted by Barsel,
whom J'red had summoned because he was the first to wash out.
---
Respectfully submitted by:
John Pepper
AKA
Nerika and Lyraene
And
Arlene Jacobs
AKA
J'red and Firefly
Barsel and Aedris
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Message: 2
Date: Sat, 11 Feb 2006 08:46:45 -0000
From: "Arlene Jacobs" <wondermom@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
Subject: Happy 10th Anniversary to DragonLands
Yes, DragonLands turns 10 years old.
Hard to imagine, but it is true.
A photo album has been created in Weavers Fiction for anyone wishing
to add a picture or graphic to celebrate.
(These will later be transferred to the DL home page to save space)
So... Happy Birthday DragonLands!
And here's to another 10 years!
-Arlene
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