Re: Unguarded conduits--The unheralded hero of scifi adventure!

On Tue, 22 Jan 2008 07:11:14 -0800 (PST), Tom <drsoong@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:

>On Jan 22, 6:38 am, "Ken from Chicago" <kwicker1b_nos...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
>wrote:
>> Time and again, in Star Trek, Stargate, Farscape, Terminator, Aliens,
etc.,
>> the unguarded and unmonitored hallway, the unlocked person-sized air
vents,
>> the huge sewer pipes ... if you need to break in, surveil and / or
break out
>> of a place you need the

>> UNGUARDED CONDUIT.

>> Now, it's a staple of nongenre shows, movies and stories, but you'd
think in
>> scifi you could space some extra minions, robots, psionic sensors, even
a
>> couple of webcams to guard or at least monitor.

>> And with Unguarded Conduit is trusty sidekick:

>> Slow Noisy Distracted Guards.

>> Our heroes are sneaking into a some super secret ultra lair, the
Archvillain
>> once in a blue moon actually DOES have guards, but is undone by said
guards:
>> --taking forever to patrol an area,
>> --making enough noise to alert anyone sneaking about from miles away,
>> --and even when said guards get the drop on the sneaks lurking about,
the
>> guards are too distracted by their own conversation or a radio or tv or
some
>> magazine or picture book to take notice.

>> -- Ken from Chicago

>That's a problem I've always had with Stargate SG-1... the team
>wanders around Go'auld (sp?) mother ****ps like they own them. 

As a general rule, the best way to not get caught in a place you
aren't allowed to be[1], is to walk around like you own the place.
This works way, way, way better than lurking in the shadows or
crawling through air ducts or anything like that.  That makes you
look guilty.  Walking around like you own the place, makes you look
like you own the place - and nobody wants to mess with the boss[2]

It does help if you dress like the people who actually do own the
place, which is sometimes an issue for SG-1, but it isn't essential.

The other best way to not get caught, is to walk around like you're
the janitor and/or a very busy secretary.  Pragmatically speaking,
this often overlaps with Plan A, above.  And again, it helps if you
dress the part.


>The guards always travel in packs. Why not separate and cover more
>areas of the ****p?

Because "guard" is a very boring job, the tedium of which is best
alleviated by hanging out chatting with your fellow guards.  And
because covering more areas of the ****p, just means more op****tunity
to get into trouble by, e.g., inadvertently messing with the boss's
boss who wasn't where he was supposed to be.

The best way to get through a day as a security guard, is to hang
out with your fellow security guards at your post on the perimeter
or in the control room, not looking for trouble and going out on
patrol only when absolutely required.


[1] Aside from not being there in the first place, of course.

[2] Or the boss's boss, or the visiting VIP, or whatever.


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