THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN (2003)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
RATING: One star and a half
Sean Connery reportedly turned down roles in "The Matrix" and "Lord of the
Rings." Apparently, he did not understand them (what is so blindingly
complex
about "Lord of the Rings"?) So instead of turning down "League of
Extraordinary
Gentlemen," which he did not understand, he takes on the coveted role of
Alan
Quartermain. That's understandable since Connery is perfect for that role,
but
the movie is a lumbering bore with the most infrequent sparks of
excitement.
Now for a slight digression: a friend of mine liked "LXG" (a suitable
abbreviation used in ads for this movie) but he hated "Highlander 2: The
Quickening." I liked "Highlander 2" for its witty exchanges courtesy of
Sean
Connery. But there is nothing to take away from "LXG." The characters are
filled with no inner life or distinctive personality. For example, we have
Connery as Alan Quartermain, the aging adventurer, who will do anything
for the
British Empire (as he proclaims early on, "Long Live the Queen!") But he
still
has reservations because he lost his son to the Empire. Nevertheless,
Quartermain joins a league of gentlemen that includes former pirate
Captain
Nemo (Naseeruddin Shah); the Invisible Man aka Rodney Skinner (Tony
Curran);
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (Jason Flemyng); the sophisticated Dorian Gray
(Stuart
Townshend); a mature Tom Sawyer (Shane West), who fires a gun like an
American
(thank you, Mr. Quartermain); and vampire Mina Harker (Peta Wilson). Wait
a
doggone minute! Mina is no gentleman!
Based on a graphic novel, "LXG" begins with a hint of promise. After a
while,
all promise is thrown to the winds when Quartermain fights with his bare
fists
and a rifle against machine-gun-toting villains! Now this tale is set in
1899
so where do these machine guns come from? But really bothered me is that
the
gunfight is right at the beginning of the movie - it is saying something
when
1985's "King Solomon's Mines" (featuring Richard Chamberlain as
Quartermain)
had more pizzazz and subtlety than what transpires in all of "LXG." For
action,
we get the requisite explosions (including a series of dirigibles
exploding in
unison), a futuristic looking "automobile" that looks more like Connery's
limo,
a humongous looking ship called the Nautilus that seems to occupy more
space
than it should (especially when traveling through the canals of Venice),
and
one too many whizzing bullets.
To make matters worse, we have some unintended laughs from the humongous
Mr.
Hyde, seen at first galloping through the rooftops of the Rue Morgue with
his
tuxedo ripped apart and hat intact. Ha! Then Mr. Hyde fights a bigger hulk
at
the climax! Then the curious Mr. Gray is apparently immortal (or dead,
take
your pick) because bullets pass through him like flypaper! I am sure some
of
you know that the literary Mr. Gray made a deal with the devil where he
would
stay young forever while his portrait would age. Okay, but where is it
written
that it also makes Gray impervious to bullets? Perhaps readers of the
comic can
enlighten me. And Mina Harker has a knack for biting necks - does that
mean she
is also powerless like the literary Dracula during daylight? And why the
rambunctious Tom Sawyer comes to the rescue of this league when he is
uninvited
still vexes me.
Of course, none of this would matter if the movie was fun on some escapist
level. What we get are a series of unrelated action setpieces with no
sense of
urgency or level of adventure. Since the adventure is ambiguous at best
(we
never know what is really at stake outside of the destruction of Venice)
and
the characters are thinner than paint thinner, we are left with a whole
lot of
nothing. It is the League of The Invisible Story.
For more reviews, check out JERRY AT THE MOVIES at
http://www.geocities.com/faustus_08520/Jerry_at_the_Movies.html
Email: Faust668@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
faustus_08520@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
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X-Language: en
X-RT-ReviewID: 1277542
X-RT-TitleID: 1123784
X-RT-SourceID: 875
X-RT-AuthorID: 1314
X-RT-RatingText: 1.5/4
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