By: Michael Yagi
Review of 'Returner'
Genre: Science Fiction Action
Director: Taka**** Yamazaki
Year: 2002
Pure regurgitated junk. Returner...it came from the bowels of
Hollywood in the form of a Japanese excretory product. There were two
reasons I saw this movie. One, I like science fiction movies that deal
with time space type material. And two, if Goro Ki****ani is in the
movie, it's gotta be good, right? Wrong, you just can't judge a book
by its cover. Not only was Goro Ki****ani (a popular Japanese actor
and one of my favorites) pretty lame in this movie, all the actors
looked like they were trained at a grade school acting academy. The
brief appearance of Western actors, as the story called for, was a
farce and an embarrassment. They spoke English as if they were
addressing a TOEFL class. At least act the part! The story is nothing
original, as expected, and it is typical sci-fi fare with absolutely
no flare.
Miyamoto (Take**** Kane****ro) is a 'Returner'. On the requests of his
clients, he steals large sums of money from the black market and gives
it back to whoever employed him. He encounters a big baddy who
controls a humongous sector of the black market. Boss Mizoguchi (Goro
Ki****ani) actually has a history with Miyamoto. The connection being
that Mizoguchi killed his best friend. During their face off, Milly
(Anne Suzuki) drops out from out of the blue, from the future
actually, giving Mizoguchi time to escape. Milly then starts to
prophesy to Mizoguchi about a time when aliens would destroy mankind
and tries to explain where she's from. The story drags on from there.
The action sequences stuck between the dreadful scenes of filler were
all things you've seen before. The visual trend of the Bullet Time
effects that The Matrix had started is overdone to the point where its
perfunctory. Of course, it's inevitable in a movie like Returner. It
lacks any innovation or imagination. A little Mission Impossible here,
a little Godzilla there and a whole lotta ****ri everywhere (with a
cute E.T. stuck in between). Apparently it was a hit amongst the
Japanese m*****. Either they've been poorly informed or most of the
ticket sales are of the female variety stemming from the appearance of
the hunky Take**** Kane****ro. The Japanese film industry seems to have
a knack for creating the most vivid and enthralling science fiction
action anime. But I still have yet to see a good transition into the
live action sector of the genre. Hopefully the time will come.
The verdict:
4.6/8- The tagline reads 'Who cares about the future?'. After watching
this movie? No one.
(c) 2004 Eight Trees CineMANIA
www.eighttreescinemania.com
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X-RT-RatingText: 4.6/8
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