THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 2004 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): *
Vin Diesel is an actor with a very limited range. But, in the right part,
with
semi-plausible action sequences and some sarcastic one-liners, he can be
good,
as he was in XXX. He was awful in his last film, A MAN APART, which asked
more
of him than he was capable of delivering, namely emotion. In THE
CHRONICLES OF
RIDDICK, the sequel to the pathetic PITCH BLACK, he is called upon to do
extensive voice-over work -- a big mistake. He sets up the scenes with
all the
emotive power of the automated voice of a voice mail system. When he
isn't
talking, he poses pretentiously like a body builder trying to do a silent
version of Hamlet.
And then there's the story.
Repeating his role of Richard B. Riddick, Diesel plays a man with
superhuman
strength. The other characters in the tale circle him like planets around
their mother star. Various warring factions, groups and religions are
engaged
in an interplanetary war in some unspecified past or future. The universe
is
in bad shape, but Riddick just might be the man to hold it all together.
Actually, the script never makes any sense whatsoever, so that it's never
clear
who is fighting whom or why -- not that you'll ever care.
Some of the specials effects are okay, but the movie plays more like a
long
trailer for the video game than a real motion picture. As you calculate
how
much money you've spend on your evening out, you're liable to realize that
you
should have skipped the film entirely and bought the video game instead,
whose
merchandising seems, after all, to be the whole point of the picture.
As the ludicrous movie laboriously worked its way to its predictable
conclusion, our audience began to give up on it entirely, with
increasingly
frequent laughter breaking out all over the theater. However, the movie
does
have one satisfying guilty pleasure. The costumes of the villains are so
ridiculously overblown and silly that admiring them becomes the only
enjoyable
part of the viewing. You can check out the costumes on the web, however,
and
save yourself the price of admission.
THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK runs way too long at 2:00. It is rated PG-13
for
"intense sequences of violent action and some language" and would be
acceptable
for kids around 11 and up.
The film opens nationwide in the United States on Friday, June 11, 2004.
In
the Silicon Valley, it will be showing at the AMC theaters, the Century
theaters and the Camera Cinemas.
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Email: Steve.Rhodes@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
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