In article <letiq3df4ibun9h5eh82fkldemqouaoiph@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>,
Rob Jensen <ShutUpRob@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>On Tue, 5 Feb 2008 15:53:44 +0000 (UTC), mchary@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
(Michael
>Alan Chary) wrote:
>
>>>Connie Selleca. So were about 95% of two-x-chromosome Hollywood at
>>>that time. Heck, Marie Osmond is hotter than Connie Selleca.
>>
>>Mixed vibes. Faye Grant is better looking than most of the woemn I know
>>personally, I'm sure, but compared to other professional show biz types?
>>As for Marie Osomnd: spoken like someone who never saw The Bermuda
>>Depths...
>>
>>There is, I think, a hierarchy:
>
>New Categories:
>
>Women who are reasonably attractive, but waaaaay overrated, both on
>the show and in real life:
>
>Alyssa Milan-ho.
Okay, you're blind.
>
>Women who are reasonably attractive:
>
>Bonnie Franklin
>
She doesn't do anything for me personally, but if you look at how people
react to her, you'll be surprised.
>>Women who are attractive enough by tv standards, but can still play a
>>normal person on a show, even though in real life we would kill
ourselves
>>over them:
>>
>>Jan Smithers, Connie Selleca, Stephanie Zimbalist, Bonnie Franklin, etc.
>
>Modern: Jaime Pressley (or however she spells her name).
Um, you mean Playboy Playmate Jaime Pressley, formerly spokesmodel for Liz
Claiborne cosmetics, and about whose character at least three episodes of
My Name is Earl have been devoted to how hot she is? By definition, she
would be in the final category: someone who is so attractive that the show
can be about that.
>
>I think Smithers belongs in a new category below.
>
That's good. You can have your own categories. Mine are not based on
opinion, though. They are based on how other characters on the show relate
to the characters played by the actress as opposed to what happens in real
life.
For instance, it's all well and good to call Janet the plain one on 3's
Company, when she has to stand next to Chrissy, but Joyce DeWitt played a
*** pot on Love Boat and was featured in several print L'eggs ads, so
don't try to tell me that *she* is just another face in the crowd.
>
>But, I'll add the following category:
>
>Women who are so attractive that other characters DON'T comment on it
>and thus, the lack of commentary about their beauty sticks out like a
>sore thumb (getting ***ually harassed by a Dan Fielding-type is not
>commentary on the given actor/character's beauty as said Dan
>Fielding-type by definition will ***ually harrass virtually every
>person over the age of consent who has two x-chromosomes.):
>
>Jan Smithers (The Poster Child for this category). Barbara Feldon.
>Markie Post (yes, despite that damn mullet).
Buying into your category for a moment, the best modern example would
probably be Lake Bell on Surface.
Characters regularly commented on both 99 and Christine Sullivan. In fact,
both of them belong in my final category. They both had a few episodes'
plots turn on how attractive they were. Post on Fall Guy, Night Court and
Hearts Afire. Bailey had Johnny and Les all hot and bothered, but with
Loni ANderson around, nobody else was getting any play on WKRP.
>
>Modern: Hayden Pannetierre. Holly Marie Combs. Ellen Pompeo.
>
Hayden, well, she was 16 so it's kind of skeevy for a show to focus on her
like that. Combs, *maybe* but I don't think she's that good looking
compared to other people on TV. Ellem Pompeo, while I personally would
would love to get to know her, she's probably in the second of my
categories with the DeWitt/Smithers rider thanks to Heigl.
>>Women who are so ridiculously attractive, that their physical beauty
>>becomes a regular plot point for episodes:
>>
>>Lynda Carter, Cathy lee Crosby, Mary Tyler Moore, Cheryl Ladd, Suzanne
>>Sommers (which is how they get away with having Joyce Dewitt in the
second
>>category), Loni Anderson (which is how Jan Smithers, etc) Stephanie
>>Powers, Julie Newmar, Diana Riggs, etc....
>
>In the case of Lynda Carter, that's something of a cop out as Wonder
>Woman is *supposed* to be ridiculously beautiful.
Yes, which is why she defines the category. Also, all the women on
Charlie's Angels (except maybe Kate Jackson). I put an obvious choice
there so people could immediately see what I meant.
> Cathy Lee Crosby
>doesn't belong anywhere on these lists, IMO, which naturally explains
>why she was instantly replaced by Lynda Carter after the horrible
>reviews she got for the first WW movie.
>
Well, no, she went on to a movie career. The first movie was based on the
new look Denny O'Neil Wonder Woman. She's was on "That's Incredible" and
people were *always* talking about how hot she was and stripping her down
to nearly ****d.
>And how in the hell can you leave Catherine Bach out of this category?
>;)
>
Because I was just defining the categories and I don't have the time or
inclination to list every possible example?
>Modern actors:
>Lauren Graham. Connie Britton. Rachel Bilson. Autumn Reeser. Jewel
>Staite (on Firefly, at the dance in "Our Mrs. Reynolds.") Rose
>McGowan. Katherine Heigl. Jennifer Morrison. Olivia Wilde (House
>specifically cited Cameron's looks in the pilot as why he picked her,
>intrigued that someone with her looks would go into a field in which
>she can't get by on her looks alone when so many with her looks would
>just live off 'em. More or less the same with 13. And the revelation
>tonight that 13 is bi***ual just punctuates it about this newer
>character.)
>
Jewel Staite?
>>Obviously most actresses fall into the first two categories but even
more
>>are just ludicrously miscast. Erin Gray was a supermodel. Yet, they put
>>her on Buck Rogers and Silver Spoons, and nobody noticed. Yancy Butler
and
>>Claudia Black are incredibly beautiful, and if they want to play
soldiers
>>and so on, that's fine by me, but it makes Daniel Jackson look like a
>>blind monk.
>
>Well, I wouldn't say that Claudia Black is Beautiful (pun not
>intended, but entirely unavoidable anyway), but she's incredibly
>intelligent and charismatic and her voice is like buttah. Still I
Well, you're blind.
>
>One more thing: I haven't the slightest idea where Pauley Perrette
>would go on this scale, so I have the feeling that she gets her own
>category. ;)
Well, it's easy to tell: on the show, do people treat her like everyone
else, comment occasionally on her beauty, or do they make a big enough
deal out of it that plots and storylines turn on the fact that she's
beautiful?
(One episode of Night Court turned on an arm wrestling match that was won
when Christine exposed her breasts, distracting the loser. Who said it was
worth it, and it was the most glorious thing he'd ever seen, and he would
not tell anyone, and if he did, no one would believe him anyway. *THOSE*
are nice breasts, and that is a plot turning on how attractive a character
is.)
--
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