"Tim McDaniel" <tmcd@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:gdbca5-mo6.ln1@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> The second episode of _New Amsterdam_ had a scene with John Amsterdam,
> his partner, and a medical person (doctor, I'd guess, but maybe
> someone else) walking into a morgue and up to a corpse. The dialog
> was
>
> Medical Person: Just humor me. Al Sharpton and Billy Graham
> decide they really gotta see the Pope. They take the Space
> Shuttle an...
>
> John Amsterdam: Just *looks* like a parachute.
>
> MP: OK. A doctor, a lawyer, and a veterinarian --
>
> JA: Sue the duck.
>
> MP: Hank Aaron *dies* --
>
> JA: That's God. He just *thinks* he's Barry Bonds.
>
> MP: I hate you.
[snip]
I think I can make up jokes to fit these. I know the basics of two.
#1 - "it just looks like a parachute" is a description of the punch line,
rather than the actual punch line, from a widely-told joke. Let's say the
Pope goes up with Al and Jesse. The Shuttle develops engine trouble.
Al: We're all going to die.
Jesse: No, there are two parachutes. Only one of us will die.
Al: Well, I must survive! I'm the smartest man in the civil rights
movement.
My life is critical to the freedom of minorities. (Grabs a parachute and
jumps out of the space shuttle.)
Pope: Well, it looks like we will both live.
Jesse: Huh? How can we both get out of this alive.
Pope: The smartest man in the civil rights movement just jumped out of the
Space Shuttle wearing one of my white silk robes.
#2 - I may have to work on this one a bit.
#3 - Hank Aaron dies and goes to heaven. He sees a baseball stadium and
goes inside, to find a home-run contest going on. A bunch of guys are
calling numbers and then hitting pitches. Aaron asks an angel in an
umpire
uniform, "What's going on."
"Each guy calls a distance and then hits a pitch. If he hits a home run
that goes at least the distance, he gets that many points."
Well, Aaron naturally wants to participate. He steps up to the plate and
says "430". The pitch comes in and he smacks a line drive to left center,
442 feet. "430 points," says the umpire.
Next, a big guy in an old fa****oned Yankees uniform, number 3, steps up to
the plate. He points to right field and says "440". The pitch comes in
and
he hits a towering shot over the left field fence. "440 points," says the
umpire.
The next guy is a big black guy wearing number 25, in a San Francisco
Giants
uniform. He says "480" and the crowd gasps. The pitch comes in and he
fouls it to left. The next one, he swings and misses. The third one he
hits barely over the fence. "Two no hits, and one 377 feet. No points!"
announces the umpire.
"Good grief, Barry Bonds has lost his groove," says Aaron to the angel.
"That's not Barry Bonds, that's God," the angel replies. "He just
*thinks*
he's Barry Bonds".
Okay, I have something for #2. A doctor, a veteranarian, and a lawyer are
playing golf during the fall. It's a beautiful day, with red and gold
leaves, and the cheerful honking of migrating birds, when suddenly tragedy
strikes. A duck flies directly into a golf cart, hitting a lovely blond
woman and knocking her out of the cart, dead. The duck's wing is broken
and
it struggles pitifully on the ground.
The doctor immediately rushes to the woman's side and begins to give her
CPR. The vet grabs a golf club and breaks off the handle, then goes over
the duck, quiets it, and begins to make a rough splint for its wing.
What will the lawyer do?
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