Anim8rFUK wrote:
> On Sat, 10 May 2008 16:16:19 -0500, Mac Breck wrote:
>
>> Anim8rFUK wrote:
>>> On Fri, 09 May 2008 22:53:29 -0700, Anim8rFSK wrote:
>>>
>>>> Saturday on Sci-Fi
>>>>
>>>> With Ian Ziering as Cortez!
>>>>
>>>> Conquistadors vs Dinosaurs!
>>>>
>>>> Unlike the usual Asylum crap generally served up on SciFi Saturday,
>>>> this is actually written and directed by people with lots of
>>>> credits. While those credits are wildly variable, they include the
>>>> very worst of Star Trek TNG, and Doomsday Rock, the worst 'asteroid
>>>> is about to hit Earth' movie ever made. I don't think they'll let
>>>> us down this time!
>>>>
>>>> Also starring:
>>>>
>>>> Marc Antonio, Dichen Lachman, Shawn Lathrop, James Locke, Jack
>>>> McGee, Kalani Queypo, Marco Sanchez, William Snow and Milan
>>>> Tres**** as Juarez
>>>
>>> Thanks for posting that! I'm sure it'll be great. But the real
>>> nugget here is, you took the time to take that jab at ST:TNG. We
>>> all know how NOTHING -- and I do mean NOTHING -- can compare to the
>>> SHAT.
>>
>> For the cheese factor, no.
>>
>> Applicable excerpts from The New Red Green Show ("Handyman Corner"
>> clip, featuring only Red), a Canadian show taking a potshot at
>> another Canadian:
>>
>> ****************************************
>> I was going over our lodge expenses for last year and
>> apparently we spent 84% of our hospitality budget on beer,
>> and the rest on pizza. I'm telling the guys we've got to
>> find a way to cut down on the cost of pizza. .... And now
>> on Handyman Corner, I'm gonna show you how to do exactly
>> that, using something you already got lying around your
>> house, and I don't mean your grandfather. I'm talking about
>> one of these old record players, [blows off a ton of dust,
>> coughs] one of these older models with the long spindle for
>> stacking records on. Next, you need an album to cook the
>> pizza on, preferrably something that's used to *lots of
>> cheese*. That's why I went with William Shatner.
>>
>> [Shows closeup of album cover. The LP (vinyl record) was
>> entitled "William Shatner - ****d Amongst Unicorns" and had
>> a picture of a ****d (head & shoulders) TOS-era Shatner on
>> the front, with his head in the center of an alternating
>> grey & black striped bullseye.]
>>
>> OK, once we get that on there, all you do is take the mound
>> of pizza dough and stick that right down over the spindle,
>> and you're set to go. Now the beauty of these old machines
>> is that you get the 78 speed on there, and that way we can
>> get Captain Kirk to go warp speed. [Starts player and
>> puts on cover.] May the centrifugal force be with you.
>> [Pizza dough now sort of evenly covers the LP.] ....
>> ****************************************
>>
>>
>> Well, that's the extent of the Shatner/SF references.
>>
>> Here's the rest, and I hope I don't have to say 'Don't try
>> this at home, folks.'
>>
>>
>> ****************************************
>> OK, next we use the same basic principle to add out tomato
>> sauce and our pepperoni. I've actually preloaded the tomato
>> sauce into this squeezable ketchup bottle here. [squirts
>> the sauce on the pizza dough as it turns] OK, now for our
>> pepperoni, we just take one of these pepperoni sticks [cigar
>> sized] and drop it down an old cigar tube [attached to the
>> spindle]. Now, all we have to do is slice it. That's why
>> I've got a cigar cutter mounted on the bottom end. [slices
>> chunks which drop on the pizza as it spins] OK, now her
>> comes the best part, you take this aerosol cheese here, and
>> I've got it hooked up to this feeder tube. [Squirts it.]
>> See how it works. Now I just attach that to the underside
>> of my tonearm where my record needle used to be, and then I
>> just set her down to 45 RPM, and let the cheese play the
>> pizza. If you like double cheese, set her on 33-1/3rd.
>> [White aerosol cheese covers pizza looking like a layer a
>> quarter inch layer of shave cream.] OK, it's almost done
>> here. Now to turn this baby into an oven, just duct tape
>> some old toaster elements to the underside of the dust
>> cover. But if you're one of those people who likes your
>> crust extra crispy, maybe you want to go with a CD burner.
>> [Puts on cover. Time elapses. Ding! Takes the burning hot
>> dust cover off. Hot, normal-looking pizza is sitting on the
>> LP.] There's a surefired hit, huh? Once we slice it, we'll
>> have a hit single. Remember, if women don't find you
>> handsome, they should at least find you [grunts as he
>> struggles to pry the LP away from the pizza] handy. We
>> haven't just made a great pizza, we've set a record!
>> ****************************************
>
> Why, thank you for posting that. I'm familiar with Red Green. And I
> like, him, too. First and foremost, he's probably a Repubican, which
> I infer from his countrified inflections.
I guess you meant conservative as opposed to liberal (PBS).
> It gives me the va****s to think that he's on PBS, at least
> around here.
His show, no longer in production (ran for 15 seasons, 300 episodes), is
Canadian, and was picked up by CTV. Here, in the US, he was, and still
might be, in reruns on PBS. It's probably a guy thing, but I find some
of the skits hilarious (e.g. Adventures with Bill, and all segments with
Hap Shaughnessy).
See
http://www.redgreen.com/
http://www.redgreen.com/index.cfm?app=cart&a=menu
--
Mac Breck (KoshN)
-------------------------------
"The Dresden Files" (2007)
Harry Dresden: [re. Bianca] What is it about bad girls? They lie,
cheat, won't suck your blood even when you beg them to, and for some
reason, no matter how badly they treat us, we still can't walk away.
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